The Daily Post Saturday, January 21, 2017
Lady Liberty Passes Away After Long Illness
|Lady Liberty in her youth|
Lady Liberty passed away at 12:00 PM EST on Friday, January 20, 2017 after a long and debilitating illness complicated by Apathy and Avarice. Lady Liberty was 240 years old and was dearly loved in her country of origin, the United States of America. A postmortem examination revealed that she has long suffered from a genetic defect (Racism) that was poorly understood by her doctors for more than 200 years. A "foreign substance" was also found in her body that is thought to have contributed to her demise. In recent years, her family was quite concerned with her health but was conflicted on how to treat her illness. Some members of her family agreed to an experimental treatment ("nativism") by a popular TV doctor, Donald Trump, in the hope of a "miracle cure", but this proved to actually accelerate the disease. The funeral will be held at a place and time to be determined as soon as funds can be raised. A "Go Fund Me" account has been established to help the family bury Ms. Liberty.